Things that go through my mind when I struggle to make eye contact withyou.

Where should I be looking?

Why did they look down? Do I have a booger in my nose?

Why did they look up? Am I going bald?

Is there a New Girl on tonight? I need to record it.

Which eye should I be looking at? Both?

I'm thirsty.

Man, his eyebrows are thick.

I could beat this dude up.
How often should I blink?

This guy's arms are really big. 

I'm miserable.

Does my breath stink?

What time is it?

What should I do with my arms?

Does she think I'm weird? I haven't looked at her in 3 minutes.

Are my eyes open too wide? I feel like I'm staring.

There's no way you're my son.

There's no way I'm your son.

Is this conversation ever going to end?

I think it's been awhile since I blinked. I'm going to blink.
Is my zipper down?

Why are you frowning?

You probably make more money than I do.

There's no way the Heat should've won game 6. They got lucky.

When should I sigh and say "Alright" so they know this conversation is over?

Hey, I look pretty good today. (As I look at myself in the reflection of their sunglasses.)

This conversation is ridiculous.

We're all going to die. 

Is it too soon to go back to reading my book, checking my phone, reading this article, etc.?